Memoirist Dani Shapiro to Headline CityLit Festival

Author Dani Shapiro:: "I understand memoir as an attempt to capture a moment or a particular story or relationship at a particular time." (Photo by Michael Maren)

For most of her life, Dani Shapiro’s identity was inextricably bound to coming from a modern Orthodox Jewish background. Shapiro, a New York-born best-selling novelist and memoirist, was always proud that members of her father’s family were prominent leaders in Orthodox circles in Eastern Europe and the United States.

But Shapiro,57, who had a troubled relationship with her late mother, says she was alwayshaunted by a sense that she did not truly belong in her family. Three yearsago, she took a home DNA test and was stunned to learn that her beloved late fatherwas not her biological parent.

Shapiro’s latest book, “Inheritance: A Memoir of Genealogy, Paternity and Love” (Knopf), takes readers on her journey of uncovering the secrets surrounding her birth. The New York Times calls the memoir “beautifully written and deeply moving,” while the San Francisco Chronicle describes “Inheritance” as “compulsively readable as a mystery novel.”

On April 27, Shapiro will deliver the 16th annual CityLit Festival keynote address. The free festival will take place at the University of Baltimore, 11 W. Mount Royal Ave.

Jmore recently spoke with Shapiro, who lives with her family in Litchfield County, Conn., about “Inheritance” and her process of self-discovery.

Jmore: You write about knowing and not knowing why you felt like an outsider in your own family. Can you explain?

Shapiro: I think my story and the way itwas hidden in plain sight and how it formed me makes it clear that I knewunconsciously. It makes me want to bow down at the feet of the unconscious! Ihad this whole body of work [exploring identity issues] beginning with my firstbook up to “Inheritance.” I had been in therapy, though not psychoanalysis, atdifferent times, but something was always eluding me and my therapist.

This iswhat it was.

You write about feeling loved byyour father, but also about your sense of loneliness, isolation and alienation.

The notfitting in had a lot to do with constantly being told I didn’t look Jewish. [Thosecomments] really settled in. I didn’t like it.

Whenpeople are donor-conceived or adopted and the information is kept from them,there’s a way of growing up feeling some otherness that doesn’t make sense. Thediscovery was so liberating because I get it now. Before, I didn’t have themap.

In terms of my father, he was kind of checked out and distant, but also a kind, good, loving person. So even though I felt isolated, I also felt very connected to him.

“Inheritance,” by Dani Shapiro

Does your birth discovery impact how you view your previous four memoirs?

Iunderstand memoir as an attempt to capture a moment or a particular story orrelationship at a particular time. [Shapiro’s 2010 memoir] “Slow Motion” isabout the year after my parents’ [devastating car] accident. [Her 2011 memoir] “Devotion”is about spiritual reckoning. “Inheritance” kind of makes sense of [the earlierbooks’ themes].

Can readers truly understand whyyou were so traumatized by learning about your conception?

Thesubject matter in my other books – having a sick child or a car accident — wasmore common. So I thought, ‘What’s universal here?’ During the year after mydiscovery, I felt I was getting a crash course in what it means to be a humanbeing. Everyone knows what it’s like to feel ‘other.’ Even if you haven’texperienced what I did, people can relate to that. What I’ve found since thebook came out is lots of people are interested because of the DNA testing, butthat isn’t the reason people read it.

How did you transition from being modern Orthodox to a secular Jew?

I don’tthink at any point in my life I thought I would grow up and live an Orthodoxlifestyle. My mother wasn’t Orthodox. She became Orthodox to marry my father.They were always in conflict about how to raise me. I went to Jewish day schooluntil seventh grade and then I went to prep school.

Onerevelation I’ve had is, you know that feeling when you meet someone and youfeel they’re part of your tribe? I think when I was in Jewish day school or in aparticularly Jewish environment, there was always this feeling I wasn’t treatedlike part of the tribe. I married a Jewish man, and when it was time for my sonJacob to begin studying for his bar mitzvah, I searched far and wide for someplacehe could study. I ended up just creating a mishpachah[family] in my home with rabbi friends and other Jews in the area. It wasvery important to me, but not in a religious sense.

You write in the book about makingChristmas cookies after your discovery.

Yes, thatwas kind of a joke. I laugh when people ask me if I’m exploring Christianitynow. No! I come from “wreath people,”but it just makes me understand the bigger landscape from which I come. Itdoesn’t make me Christian. It just clarifies. Now, it makes perfect sense. Icould imagine walking into a shul andfeeling different about it. I feel I belong more, not less, because now I know.It’s not a tortured inside question.

If you could do it all again, wouldyou take the DNA test?

Yes, forall the reasons I said. I think it’s always better to know.

How will your discovery affect you futurebooks?

I don’tknow. I feel that “Inheritance” is the culmination of something I’ve beendigging for. I think it powered my becoming a memoirist. It wasn’t a conscious decisionto move away from fiction toward memoir.

Are you currently working onanything?

No, I’vebeen on a 20-city tour. One of the things that’s happening with this book isthat discoveries from DNA testing are epidemic. So people are coming to my bookevents and meeting each other. As a writer, you always want people to be movedby your books, but to feel like you’re actually impacting people this way isreally thrilling.

For information about the CityLit Festival, visit citylitproject.org. For information about the author, visit danishapiro.com.

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