We all have been tested with a lot of things lately.
As 2020 reaches the halfway point (yes, it’s only HALF over!), I’ve found myself pausing to reflect on a number of things. Even as we have been focusing on all things COVID-19, social distancing and quarantining, there are some everyday realities that we cannot escape.
And one such reality is how truly hard being a mother really is.
Many of us might make it look easy and like it’s all cuddles and rainbows. But the reality is, there are parts of motherhood that are flat-out not enjoyable.
There are sleepless nights and tantrums and moments where you start to question why you signed up for this.
Of course, we all love our children (oftentimes, more than we want to admit), but that does not mean that we love all the aspects of raising them all of the time.
Having spent the last three-plus months (and counting) home with our kids, sometimes it feels like it is hard to escape some of this reality.
And as always, with all of the social media sharing and posting, it is very easy to fall victim to thoughts that you’re the only one struggling. Those nagging concerns and insecurities sometimes just creep in.
We see daily posts on social media channels of moms looking all joyful and well put together, helping their perfectly content and well-dressed child navigate distance learning while enjoying their perfectly well-balanced snack.
All the while, the truth of the matter is that you might not have showered in about five days (but, of course, who’s counting?), your child is kicking and screaming on the floor next to you, and you’re not entirely sure if what you just wiped off your arm was chocolate or poop. Ah, the life of a mom!
It is easy to sometimes feel like you are doing something terribly wrong.
But let me tell you, all of you moms out there, you are in great company. We all have moments when we struggle with our roles. You’re not the only one. We’re all in this together.
One thing that always strikes me when I write posts like this is how many people reach out afterwards and say, “Thank you, I did not know other people felt this way.” They simply had no idea that others had these nagging doubts and anxieties.
So the next time you are struggling and having a lonely moment in motherhood, just reach out to another mom. I am quite confident that you will find someone who knows pretty well how you are feeling!.
Hang in there! You’re doing a great job.
Jmore parenting columnist Talya Knable is a psychotherapist who lives in Lutherville with her husband, Stephen, and their two children, Jack and Leigh. Her website is tkpsych.com/. She is also the assistant clinical director of Shalom Tikvah (shalomtikvah.org/), a local non-profit organization that supports Jewish families facing mental illness and other challenging life circumstances.