Chicken Soup for the Yom Tov

Here’s how to have (mostly) stress-free High Holidays.

With the High Holidays fast approaching, we prepare for a season of soul and spiritual searching, observances of rituals, attendance of synagogue and food.

Lots of food. And let’s not forget plenty of family time!

This may be the holiest time of the year, but it also can be a stressful season at times.

Here are a few tips and considerations to minimize the stress and anxieties, so you can focus on the joy and meaning of the season.

Travel

Are you traveling to be with family?
How will you get there, and where will you stay?
How will you schedule time to see everyone you want to see?

Clarifying these kinds of decisions far ahead of time saves a world of heartache later. Make decisions and be sure that everyone in the family is on board.

To make it exponentially easier, inform the people you will be visiting or staying with so they know what to expect, which can reduce tension once you get there.
If you are bringing gifts for people, get them as far ahead as possible, so you aren’t left running around last minute.

Hosting

Perhaps you are the one hosting or having houseguests for the holidays. This can be just as stressful, if not more so.

The above suggestions still apply, but many in the reverse:

Make sure you know far in advance who you are inviting, if they are coming and how long they will be staying.
Make sure whatever needs to get done is planned out (cleaning, where everyone will sleep, when you can expect them to be there and when they will be visiting others), and what your activities together will be.
Plan meals ahead of time and prepare as much as you can beforehand. Are you going to cook and freeze, have people bring items or maybe order prepared food? You can have a plan for each meal. Consider using fancy disposable products if you are having a big group to save time and energy cleaning up.
Family ‘Antics ’–Despite our expectations or fantasies that everyone else has perfect families with no issues or tensions, this is a very common dynamic. It is wonderful to be with family, but it also can bring up age-old issues and patterns.
Think back to the last time you were together: what was the most stressful part?
See if you can do one thing differently to prevent it from happening again … or just remind yourself to take a long deep breath when the old patterns start up.
Some things are going to be inevitable, but how we respond to them is always up to us.
Self-CareYou know how they tell you on a plane to put your oxygen mask on before you help anyone else? This applies to all of life.You need to make sure that your energy is not depleted, as that can leave you vulnerable to stress.
- Take breaks. Take baths.
- Do what you love, whatever brings you back to the present and makes you forget time.
- Take a few moments to yourself when you feel the stress mounting.
- Rest, take a walk around the block and listen to some music.
- Keep your rituals as much as you can: exercise, yoga, meditation and reading. You may have to change your location, but try to stick as close to your usual routine as you are able.
Balance
We tend to go into overdrive at the holidays. See if you can let up on the expectations a bit; they tend to be the killer of both inner and outer peace.
Remember you can change things up if you need to, and try to have a support person: whoever you can vent to if it gets too stressful.
Nip that stress in the bud, and enjoy the most meaningful time of the year!
E.B. Wexler is a local clinical social worker, mindfulness facilitator, yoga teacher-in-training and freelance writer. For her blog and online offerings, visit endless-exhale.com.
Also see: High Holidays 2017: Recipes, Memories, Tips and More