The other night, I was out at a girls’ dinner (super important to do … more on that later!) and one of my friends shared with the table that since her first child was born, she and her husband have had one date night per week.

The rest of the table gasped! We all have young children, mostly 2 years old and under, and could not imagine having this luxury. A night alone with your spouse? Every week? For two years?

It seemed impossible.

But why should it be? She continued to explain that this was not always a fancy night out where they hired a babysitter and sat uninterrupted at a restaurant for hours. It was sometimes as simple as running out to get a slice of pizza while family or friends offered to feed your kids dinner.

She said they just decided from day one to make it a priority, and for them it now feels easy to make happen.

I loved this. It is so important, both for us and our children, that we stay connected to our significant others. It might seem impossible to have one date night a week, but why not try for one a month to start?

If you don’t have anyone local to watch your children, have a date night at home after the kids go to bed instead of focusing on what else needs to be done or just going straight to bed yourself (my husband and I are so guilty of doing this!).

If your child is in school or day care, find a time that you and your spouse can go out for coffee together after you drop them off or meet for lunch during the day.

Dates don’t have to be at night or fancy, or even longer than a few minutes if that is all you have. Just find time to connect here and there.

A little bit of effort to get this done will pay off immensely, both now and in the future.

What are some ways you all find to make time to be with your spouse?

Talya Knable, psychotherapist and Jmore parenting columnist, stands in her Lutherville home. (Photo by Steve Ruark)
(Photo by Steve Ruark)

Jmore parenting columnist Talya Knable is a psychotherapist who lives in Lutherville with her husband, Stephen, and their two children, Jack and Leigh. Her website is She is also the assistant clinical director of Shalom Tikvah ( , a local non-profit organization that supports Jewish families facing mental illness and other challenging life circumstances.