The above picture of my son was taken during my daughter’s newborn photo shoot in our home. He was not interested in posing for the long list of adorable sibling moments I was interested in capturing.
My husband took him into the kitchen and allowed him to engage in one of his favorite activities … standing in our refrigerator (seriously, I can’t make this up!) Our fantastic photographer, Jenny Lynn Photography, was on point to snap this photo (which has quickly become a favorite of mine), but it opened up a bigger debate for me.
I had heard stories all the time about children being bribed to do what you need them to do with candy or sweets. While this might not have been exactly what we were doing here, we were not far from using food as an incentive to behave.
And it got me thinking.
Was this the best way to be handling food with our children? At that time, we just recently become a family of four and we were really just trying to get through every day as best we could. We were not focused on the long-term ramifications of our actions, or what patterns we might have to break later on. We were not thinking about how to get kids to eat healthy foods.
Having spent my entire career working in the field of eating disorder treatment, I knew that a child’s relationship with food was incredibly important in overall health later in life. Furthermore, I wanted my children to enjoy food, and enjoy mealtimes, and I wanted to make sure that we were implementing tools at home that would allow for this to happen. I knew how to address this with clients of mine, but when it comes to your own children, it is always a different ball game.
I figured if I was struggling, other moms were as well.
I teamed up with registered dietitian Samantha Lewandowski, MS, RDN, LDN, CEDRD and owner of Big Picture Nutrition, LLC, to share some tips on how to get kids to eat healthy foods and how to handle food with children in general.
Samantha has worked for many years with children and adolescents, as well as their families, to create healthy attitudes around food. With her guidance, we have been working on developing positive habits within our own home which allow us to support our children in enjoying food and meal times.
Here are her top five tips on how to address food issues and getting kids to eat healthy within your home.
1. No Short Order Cooking!
It is important to continue to cook and serve the foods you enjoy and expose your child(ren) to those foods, too. Children become more selective eaters when their choices are catered to. The more you allow children to be a part of your family meals, the easier food choices will be as they get older. Having good eating habits for toddlers, which includes eating the same foods the rest of the does, sets them up to have a better relationship with food later on.
2. Getting Kids to Eat Healthy — Pair familiar with unfamiliar.
It is developmentally normal for children to say no to foods that are new or unfamiliar. Instead of shying away from this process, introduce new foods by pairing them with a food you know is familiar and likely to be easily accepted. Children are more likely to try the new food this way. This may especially be the case for vegetables, which may be more accepted when served with a sauce or dip that provides both fat and flavor.
3. Avoid using food as a reward or punishment.
When food is used as a reward or withheld as a punishment, it can impact a child’s relationship with food long term. It can be harder to untangle hunger from emotion driven reasons to eat when food is linked to their behavior. This could potentially lead to over- or under-eating. We have to remember that children are naturally very good at determining their level of hunger and fullness. We want to help them maintain this ability. By serving meals and snacks at regular intervals, children learn to expect that food is available and they can eat what their body needs.
4. Tasting is more than taking a bite.
Tasting a new food can be a lesson in exploration. Taking a bite of something new may feel scary for some children. Tasting can include touching, smelling, and even having the food on the plate without putting it in our mouth. It also may mean placing it in our mouth, but not chewing or swallowing. The minimum bite rule may work with some children, especially those who are eager to please (which often occurs during the preschool years) but has the possibility to impact their relationship with food and eating down the road. Some kids will dig in their heels because the idea of taking a bite may be overwhelming.
5. Good Eating Habits for Toddlers
If you can expect anything, it’s that children’s eating habits can change quickly. While frustrating, it is very normal developmentally for young children to have quick shifts in their eating behaviors. It is common that babies who readily accepted a wide range of foods suddenly start saying no around 18 months of age. Likewise, toddlers are known for eating a large amount one day, and hardly a few bites of food the next. Children are also often distracted by playing and therefore sitting at the table for a meal may become challenging. Once parents feel they have a handle on a situation with feeding, it usually ends up changing. This is a part of the process of learning and growing, but one that often irritates parents.
Jmore parenting columnist Talya Knable is a psychotherapist who lives in Lutherville with her husband, Stephen, and their two children, Jack and Leigh. Her website is tkpsych.com/ She is also the assistant clinical director of Shalom Tikvah (shalomtikvah.org/), a local non-profit organization that supports Jewish families facing mental illness and other challenging life circumstances.
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