To be completely honest, I am not a huge fan of New Year’s resolutions. They are a struggle to stick with, and people usually end up being disappointed
Unfortunately, this is not a surprise. Setting large or absolute goals does little more than set you up for failure. It is so hard to stick with a behavior that is drastically different from what you are used to or does not allow any room for error.
And why would you want to set yourself up like this?
While many might agree with this, people keep making New Year’s resolutions each year. So why not set yourself up for success, rather than failure?
If you catch yourself setting the same goals year after year, it might be time to downsize your expectations. You might be pleasantly surprised to find that if you aim for less, you might actually achieve more.
This does not mean you have to totally give up hope that you will ever see success, but slight changes can make a huge different to the way you set expectations for yourself and the eventual outcomes.
Here are a few New Year’s resolutions you can actually stick to.
1. Use Less Technology: We could all probably benefit from this resolution, but it is so hard. We live in a culture that is largely driven by technology and social media, so disconnecting might feel impossible. Set the goal to have just a few minutes every day where you put the phones down, turn off the Wi-Fi and focus on something else. You will love the connection you feel with your kids and those around you when you are truly able to focus on them.
2. Eat More Colorful Foods: This is such an easy way to make better food choices without focusing on depriving yourself. Instead of focusing on “dieting” or avoiding foods (anyone who knows me is well aware of how much I hate the diet mentality!), load your plate with lots of fruit and veggies. You will quickly you feel better about what you are eating.
3. Be More Active: Instead of setting a goal to lose weight or make it to the gym everyday (again, not a fan of the diet mentality), just focus on increasing overall activity. This could mean taking the stairs instead of the elevator, parking at the back of the parking lot so you have longer to walk, or playing a game of catch with your kids instead of watching. Starting somewhere brings you closer to those bigger goals.
4. Use Better Products in the Home: This is definitely an area where small changes can have a big impact. Changing out just one or two of your everyday products for something with better ingredients can jumpstart better health and wellness goals for the whole family.
5. Focus on the Present: There is such a drive to set goals and make changes that we often lose sight of what is right in front of us. Take a few minutes every day to just be in the here and now and focus on the present moment. You will be surprised how good you feel by simply appreciating where you are.
Happy new year!
Jmore parenting columnist Talya Knable is a psychotherapist who lives in Lutherville with her husband, Stephen, and their two children, Jack and Leigh. Her website is tkpsych.com/. She is also the assistant clinical director of Shalom Tikvah (shalomtikvah.org/), a local non-profit organization that supports Jewish families facing mental illness and other challenging life circumstances.
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