Coming to Terms

A former state delegate for the 11th District, Dr. Dan K. Morhaim may have retired from political life. But he’s hardly leading a retiring lifestyle.

An emergency room physician, Dr. Morhaim has been consulting with a health technology company, primarily about a COVID-19 vaccine rollout, as well as continuing with medical work he has been conducting for many years with local ambulance companies.

In the public arena, he has been appointed chair of the Baltimore County Behavioral Health Advisory Council, and hosts webinars on end-of-life issues and health policy.

His wife, Shelley, a screenwriter and director of the documentary “The Next Industrial Revolution,” is a therapeutic music practitioner. She chairs 1,000 Friends of Pikesville, a nonprofit focused on the redevelopment of the historic Pikesville Armory campus. In addition, she serves on the Maryland State Arts Council.

As if the Pikesville couple weren’t busy enough, they have co-authored the new book “Preparing for a Better End: Expert Lessons on Death and Dying for You and Your Loved Ones,” published by Johns Hopkins University Press (thebetterend.com). The book has earned endorsements from a diverse group of distinguished people including Senator Ben Cardin, Dr. Leana Wen and others.

In the book, the Morhaims reflect on a number of topics, such as what doctors want for themselves in terms of end-of-life care; how to deal with dementia; what to expect from palliative and hospice care; and how to communicate specific needs to attorneys, medical personnel and family members.

The book also outlines the care choices available to patients, and explains why living wills and advance directives are a necessity for every American.

“Preparing for a Better End” also details where to find free and readily available living wills and advance directives, and why it is so important for everyone — young and old — to complete them. Shelley Morhaim also draws on her experiences with hospice and hospital patients for readers facing hard decisions.

Jmore recently spoke to Dr. Morhaim about their new book.

How did the idea for the book come about? It came from life experiences. In my work as an ER doctor, I came face-to-face with families in crisis who had not planned for end-of-life issues. As a state legislator for 24 years, I focused on health care issues, and this issue is one that every person will deal with eventually.

In my research on the subject of advance directives, I found that only about 40 percent of Americans had completed these, and about half that number in minority populations. Then, there were the personal experiences Shelley and I have faced in dealing with the loss of family members and seeing what helped and what did not.

What was the writing process like for the two of you? Fortunately, we work well together. We wrote a first book on this subject in 2011, and this new version is the expanded update.

Generally, I write the initial text and Shelley edits, and then we go back and forth, but sometimes it’s the other way around. We both have to write for a variety of reasons, and we almost always check it out with the other person first.

What are the unique viewpoints and experiences you each bring to the book? I bring my experience as a physician and legislator, and Shelley brings hers as a therapeutic musician. But like others, we have dealt with these issues in our families and with friends. It has become an issue of great importance to us personally.

What do most people fear most about getting older, frailer and dying? The most specific fears are of isolation, pain, and being unable to take care of oneself, becoming dependent on others for basic needs, whether that takes the form of a debilitating stroke, dementia or degenerative disease. Our book acknowledges these fears and anxieties and offers practical advice to better manage them.

Is your book designed to be informational or inspirational, or both? All of the above. We want people to move to action steps to be sure their wishes and values are respected. We also want them to bring this topic up to friends and family members. It’s all about empowerment and respect.

What are the lessons you hope readers will take away from the book? It can be hard to initiate a process to think about and discuss these issues, but once you do, you’ll find it easier than you think and will be glad you did. Taking the steps we outline brings comfort and peace of mind. Should a crisis arise, the process of planning ahead can protect a person from considerable pain and suffering, and protect one’s loved ones from guilt and anguish.

What lessons did you both take away from writing the book and from the information provided in the book? We are both passionate about this issue and many others, such as the environment, politics and public policy. It’s only by becoming involved that positive change happens. We also gained appreciation for anyone who writes a book: It’s hard work, but it can be fun, too.

“Preparing for a Better End: Expert Lessons on Death and Dying for You and Your Loved Ones” is available on Amazon, through local booksellers, and from Johns Hopkins University Press.

A former Baltimorean, Carol Sorgen is a Portland, Ore.-based freelance writer.